However, the deeper truth is that it’s not the disabilities themselves that draw her attention.
It’s the spirit of the man who has risen above these disabilities.
She’s more curious and intrigued about the part of them that is animating their physical body than the look of their body itself. In other words, she’s drawn to their “character.”
Most men (and women) who come up against a physical ailment allow that limitation to dampen their spirit, crush their self-esteem or lessen their self worth.
But when a man claims his purpose, self-love and place in the world, despite what his physical body is capable of… it speaks volumes to a woman.
So, let’s backtrack a bit.
A lot of guys a lot of guys have this thing about being ‘Alpha.’ I’ve heard so many guys say, “I want to be an Alpha Male”.
What guys don’t realize is that there is an entire spectrum of what Alpha is.
The lowest end of the spectrum is the classic Alpha who is generally the loudest guy in the room. He’s the guy who takes up the most energetic space with his bravado and he commands people’s attention simply because it’s hard to focus on anything else.
That’s the lowest end of the spectrum of alpha male. Just because a man may be an alpha it has nothing to do with his level of self awareness or security in himself.
All the way on the other side of the spectrum is the alpha male who doesn’t need to speak in order to have every one’s attention. There is something about him that is deeply dropped in to himself.
He’s so grounded, solid and present in his body that everyone’s attention goes to him without him needing to command anyone’s attention. His presence simply by itself is commanding.
In general, that’s the kind of Alpha that almost all the women I’ve interviewed on my podcast thus far are drawn to.
Generally that’s considered the highest form of Alpha, but interestingly there is something even above that.
It’s what is referred to as the “Wounded Alpha”.
This is a man who has a debilitating injury, illness or even physical disfiguration and yet to him, it appears as “No Thing”.
This is even more attractive to a woman than the guy at the highest end of the spectrum because it speaks so loudly to the unconquerable-ness of this man’s spirit.
Women can see how much he’s got working against him, AND he’s still got more personal power than almost any other man in the room.
A radiant, high self-esteem woman knows better than anyone else that looks will fade, both hers and yours.
And… who she wants to be with when they fade away for good is a man who has a spirit like a raging fire that will keep her warm for the rest of her life.
Knowing that quality underneath his looks is what really makes a man beautiful.
Even my guest in this podcast episode talks about why she is slow to trust men with GQ model looks. She simply doesn’t trust that they have the kind of relationship with themselves as a man who has had to really work for it.
If you have physical limitations in the way I’ve described above then I hope the spectrum of choices you have are clearer to you.
For the rest of you, keep in mind that if you don’t feel you possess the looks of a male underwear model, then perhaps doing the work to cultivate that kind of confidence is what will make you just as attractive (if not more) as the guy who got lucky with some killer genetics.
And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to get close to the confidence of the wounded alpha.
P.S. Don’t take my word for it. You can hear the entire podcast conversation right now, by clicking HERE.