Well, over a decade ago when I was looking for answers on how to connect with women, I immersed myself in the world of Pickup. Back then, by “Pickup” standards I was considered pretty “good”. I could speak well. I was polished and smooth… but inside I was still terrified and full of anxiety.
I eventually came to see that radiant, high self-esteem women were totally aware of what I was feeling (even from across the room) because they could trust the intelligence of their bodies to pick up on what I was feeling in mine. The more a woman trusts her “Animal Body” the more she can hear what your body is really saying.
And… your body is speaking all the time.
And… it doesn’t lie.
It’s easy to think that our words count for a lot but women are only listening to about 40% of what you say. The other 60% of their awareness is on how you feel to them.
I realized that in my own journey to have amazing relationships with women, I was making a very common mistake by trying to act differently than my body felt. My words were out of harmony with my body and I was acting, moving and talking in ways that women could feel was not authentic.
While it’s been quite a journey and there is always more ways to grow, friends have told me that I’ve come about “8 million miles from where I started” (that’s actually a quote). Since that time, life has become beautiful and amazing in ways that I couldn’t have even touched back then.
Think of it like the way a dog will bark at someone who seems perfectly calm. The dog is responding to the animal inside of them. We all do this. However, the animal bodies of women (who are more emotionally attuned by nature) are extra aware and on some level ALWAYS paying attention.
That’s why it’s called the “Animal Body”.
If you’re feeling anxious, uncomfortable, contracted or nervous then it doesn’t matter what you say. A woman’s animal body is going to tune in to what your animal body is feeling. From there her animal body will make its own choices about how it feels and then it will inform her mind to make her body more or less available to you.
However, when a man has a deeply connected relationship with his animal body, it’s a gift to women because the harmony of his own relationship with himself has her animal body completely relax when she’s around him.
A woman wants a man who has mastered his relationship with his animal body. She doesn’t want a man who’s always ready to fight and/or is always passive. She wants to feel that you can shift into warrior mode or “chillin’ out on the couch and laughing,” mode as necessary. Her animal body instinctively knows that if you can’t control your physiology then you definitely can’t lead her through the world in a way that feels safe.
When you truly drop into your animal body everything changes.
It’s hard to put this into words because it all happens on a level that is deeper than language. However, what occurs all the way up on the surface is a new confidence and the words “I trust myself” take on a meaning they never had before.
A lot of men run from their animal body their entire lives and their relationships with women reflect that internal disharmony. However, what makes it all worth the journey is the quality of aliveness and potency that not only lights you up, but also calls forth the radiance of other people around you, especially women.
And that’s a good life.
Think of it like music. If your body is playing/resonating with angry death metal a woman is going to feel that in her body. If you want to be in relationship with a death metal rocker then that’s great because that is who is going to be in tune with the music your body is playing. However, if you want a woman who is playing/resonating a beautiful symphony inside her body then you’re going to want to learn how to change your music.
And any man can learn how to do this.
The reason men don’t do this is because it means being with the feelings that are already there. It’s not your fault. Our culture is set up and designed to keep us in our heads and out of truly inhabiting our bodies. And… you can learn to do this.
What are you feeling right now?
A little tension? Heat or heaviness inside? Some feelings that you would interpret as anxiousness? That is your animal body speaking in the only language it knows… sensation.
It’s one of the greatest journeys any human can go on, and the amazing irony is the unending desire to comfortable and at ease and completely trust ourselves is totally available… if we’re willing to feel within ourselves to find the key in the darkness.
Besides, it’s just too ironic to not be true.
So, how do you learn to create harmony with your animal body? Check out my recent podcast with Guest Expert David Cates on “The Animal Body”. You can listen to it right now, HERE.