There is something very sexy to women about a man who is in touch with himself, who can trust himself to go with the flow and navigate it in a way that creates magical experiences and a beautiful flow of life. Women want to be with men like this. They want to be on his ride.
I’m going to show you how to get back to that. In fact, if you can get what I’m talking about here it will go a VERY long way towards the life you want for yourself.
With minds like overworked muscles at lot of guys have lost connection with the embodied intelligence that guides them.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, lost or didn’t know what to do, especially with women then this will give you a solid clue into how your life can be a much more an exciting and joyous journey as opposed to a tedious and frustrating grind.
One summer there was a day that was so nice that I just put on my computer backpack and walked about a mile or so to this great café that is central to all kinds of cool stuff here in San Francisco. It was so nice out in fact that I decided to let go of my general “prepared for anything,” attitude and I left home with just a button up shirt with a t-shirt underneath.
It was about 5pm and I was ready to move on from the café to somewhere else. But when I stepped outside into the late day sun it was already damn cold and in the shade it was even colder. The temperature was rapidly dipping and the wind was picking up… fast.
I’d been warm all day and I could tell it was going to suck to walk all the way up an enormous hill (that was already a mile away) in the increasingly cold wind to get home. I stood on the street corner for a few minutes as I thought about what I wanted to do.
Sure, I could jump in a cab and get home and have a quiet weeknight evening by myself but that just didn’t feel quite right.
In the last few years I’ve learned to start trusting something called my IGS. It stands for Inner Guidance System. It’s simply based on being present enough to feel my own body and trust the sensations I’m experiencing to guide me.
When I think of _______ do I notice a sensation of “opening” or do I experience a sensation of “closing”?
This can take a little practice, but once you get it, it’s amazing what can happen and women often find themselves VERY attracted to a man who is in tune with his feelings at this level.
So, I’m going to share with you what happened but first here are the simple steps for how your IGS works.
Notice that the thoughts in your head are separate from the sensations in your body. Let your thoughts become like the droning voice of a radio announcer murmuring somewhere off in the background. Start to tune into the sensations in your body. Begin to distinguish those sensations.
*For example if you were to move toward an angry growling dog your sensations might feel more clenched, resistant and uncomfortable (that’s a sensation of closing).
If you were to move toward a beautiful sunset on a warm beach your sensations might feel more relaxed, at ease and comfortable (that’s a sensation of opening).
Continue to ignore the thoughts and voices in your head and ask yourself “If these sensations were a compass, (north is opening, south is closing) what choice are they directing me toward?”
Start to move toward that choice. Trusting the direction of the sensations. Notice if it changes. Start with little things. (NOT big things that could put you or others in physical, financial or emotional danger).
If you can do this out in the world then you start learning to do this in interactions with women. You can start to notice where your curiosity leads in conversation and you’ll notice yourself finding your way into deep, intimate or rewarding interactions because you followed the intelligent guidance of your body (not the monkey mind in your head). And when it comes to women seeking men who intrigue and delight them, this makes you a shinning star in an otherwise dark night.
But, I digress… so here I am standing on the corner, knowing full well that it’s just getting colder by the minute. I’m wearing everything I’ve got on me (just a button up shirt and a t-shirt) and the only logical option for not being miserable appears to be taking a cab home.
In-fact, right on cue, here comes a cab.
My mind says, “Stay out? Take the cab? Go home? How am I gonna stay warm? Why is this even a question? Just go home!”
As the cab approaches, I stay connected with my IGS. Instead of listening to my head I’m feeling the sensations in my body. Do I feel a sensation of opening or do I feel a sensation of closing? As easy as it would have been to jump right in and be all nice, warm and chauffeured to my door the ‘closing’ feeling I was getting just said, “Nope.”
Damn! For some reason it just doesn’t feel right to take the ride, so I let it pass.
I ask myself, “Well, so what do I feel like doing then?” As I look toward the San Francisco Mission District I feel an opening. I start walking in that direction. About half a block down is a woman packing up old dresses from a little yard sale she’d been having in front of her building.
“You got anything for guys? I was getting kinda cold and didn’t feel like going home.”
She reaches into a box and pulls out a super thick, wool turtleneck sweater from Jay Crew.
Her: I’ll give ya this for 2 bucks.
Me: I’ve got a $10 and a $1.
Her: Ok, a buck is fine.
I put the sweater on. It’s like a coat of fur. (Later that evening I’ll look it up online to find
that it’s a $150 sweater.)
I feel drawn towards Delores Park and quickly run into a good friend I haven’t seen for some time who tells me a hilarious story about losing a bet while camping and having to eat a fire ant and having to get rushed to the hospital. We laugh until we’re almost crying and then say goodbye.
I lay in the grass in the last of the sun amongst tons of happy Sunday frolickers.
I get a phone call from an old girlfriend I’d been thinking of.
I go to another café and get some great work done on my computer.
I walk through the Mission having all kinds of light, fun interactions with people.
I end up at a great bar and grill eating a delicious turkey burger. I look up to see that the last half of the ultimate guys action movie “300” on the giant bar TV, which is perfect because it’s too noisy to hear anything anyway but this movie works just fine without audio. I’m in heaven.
A girl I’d briefly flirted with shyly tries to catch my eye as I leave.
I step outside and instantly catch a cab home.
I go to bed feeling like electricity is flowing through me.
What a great day! I felt like I was surfing a wave and in a very real sense I was. Being able to tap into that place inside ourselves and trust the intelligence of our bodies is a very powerful skill that I’ll be continuing to learn to use for a long time. Making use of this skill paves the way for a rich life of fun, discover and synchronicity.
Here’s what it comes down to. The more you know yourself the more you can trust yourself.
An assignment I sometimes give my clients is to schedule a day off of work or just take a weekend day to go on your own IGS adventure. Put on a backpack with everything you need for the day and just go off into the world letting your inner guidance lead you. The majority of time my clients return with incredible stories, inspirational moments and beautiful connections as a result of allowing themselves to be “IN” the flow.
If you want a woman in your life who is “magical” then it will serve you well to experience your own magic first.
Catch the wave,