How To Be Captivatingly Commanding With Women
A few years ago I found myself dating a corporate rockstar goddess.
She worked in a skyscraper in the financial district of San Francisco. She was absolutely beautiful, she had a body like a playboy playmate and was a powerhouse doing the same amount of work as 5 people.
Like everyone in her corporation she was expected to wear a business suit.
But she didn’t.
She had an indomitable spirit and had simply decided that she was going to dress however she wanted. And she wanted to dress like a rock star. Google an image of Shania Twain and that’s what I’m talking about. When she walked down the hallway it was as if a wave of feminine goddess power rolled right along with her.
Yeah, that’s the level we’re talking about here.
But I’ll be really honest with you.
I was REALLY intimidated by how amazing she was. She was totally out of my league.
I was also clear that there was absolutely no way in the freaking way in the world I was going to let my opportunity with this rare breed of woman slip by.
Here is an example of how most guys communicate with women they’re attracted to.
- On the phone: “So uh, you want to meet up for dinner, maybe next week?”
- At your place: “Wanna go in the, um… bedroom?”
- At a restaurant: “Do you want to sit over here?”
- On the phone: “Want to go out next week? Oh, is Wednesday ok?”
- At the end of a date: “Would you want to, y’know…get together… again?”
When I sat with how to create a deep connection with her and got super real with myself about how I would need to step up, I realized that there was only one good choice.
I needed to be bold, gentle, clear and strong.
Here is how my communications with her sounded.
- On the phone: “There’s a restaurant I’ve been wanting to go to. I’d like you to join me.”
- Leading her to the couch: “Come sit.”
- On the phone: “I’d like to see you next Wednesday night.”
- Gently taking her hand and leading her into the bedroom: “Come with me.”
- At the end of a first date: “That was a great night. I want to see you again.”
Big difference, right? Now I’m not talking about being an uncreative, monotone robot here. There was a lot of playfulness, light heartedness and warmth in the way I spoke.
I’m simply saying that when it comes time to speak to what you want you can do it with presence and appreciation but also clarity and boldness.
I found that:
- The more bold I was with her the more she softened into letting me take the lead.
- The more she trusted me to take the lead, the more bold I became.
- The more bold I became the less intimidated I felt.
It was a beautiful upward spiral and we had a really great connection. I learned and grew so much from this.
A few months had gone by and one day I said to her, “Y’know, I realize that I’ve never really asked you what you want. I’ve simply told you what I wanted with you.”
I’ll never forget her reply, “I know.” She said, “It’s so refreshing. Please don’t ask me to think.”
That’s when it all made sense to me. Most women simply want a man who is clear about what he wants, to take care of the details so they can just be feminine.
After a long day of her being “the one in charge”, she wants someone to be in charge for her. That is what allows her to relax, feel taken care of and let go.
The more powerful the woman the more often she wants a man who can hold all of that power for her.
If you can’t hold her power it forces her to step into the more masculine role in which case she’ll either dump you or… stay with you and resent the hell out of you for it.
So here are the three super simple steps for you to start practicing this.
Step 1: Ask yourself, “What do I want with her right now in this moment?”
Step 2: Boil that answer down to it’s shortest form in your head. “I want her to sit beside me.”
Step 3: Speak to it as simply as possible. “Come sit here.” Or “Join me.” Or “Come.”
Once you really get this down you don’t even need to speak. Just a simple indication of your hand, a motion from your eyes or the slightest movement of your head tells her everything you want. Women are dying for a man who can communicate with them on this level. The better you get at this the less you need to do.
But… pants before shoes.
So try the three steps out in little ways and experiment with it. The reason this can feel intimidating is because you are making yourself vulnerable by transparently sharing what you want.
Remember, the strength is in the vulnerability. That’s what makes it rare.
It’s also what makes it sexy.
In service of your greatness,