I’m going to share something with you that almost all women (yes, including the hottest women in the world) are unconsciously scanning for ALL the time. In fact, this built in radar system is so natural and primal that most women have no idea that they’re even looking for it.
And yet, when this unconscious “search program” finds that you’ve got this one quality, something lights up inside of them that tells them not to miss their opportunity with you.
It’s the pause.
You see, any man can banter, play and talk game. But very few men can “pause.”
What does this mean? It means that you can stand there without a thing to say while looking in her eyes and be totally comfortable with yourself and her.
When she feels you can do this without having to say something funny, swallow, fidget uncomfortably or distract yourself from the moment you suddenly stand out like a rare and precious gem.
Women are like tuning forks and if you feel as still as a placid lake on the inside they will instantly feel it inside of them. And THAT is something all women wish they could find in a man.
Ever been on a 10 speed bike? What’s it like when you’re in first gear? You’re peddling furiously and moving slow. Right? So what’s it like when you’re in 7th gear? It takes a little more effort to get going at first BUT… once you are, you’re peddling slowly but moving with incredible speed and momentum.
Yeah, that’s the guy women want. It doesn’t mean you have to be this all the time, it just means that having access to this anytime you want sets you far apart from the rest of the fish in the sea. And when you’re able to pause, you become that sexy, intriguing, exotic fish that women can’t help but notice.
So how do you learn to do this?
Here’s a simple practice. The next time you are talking to a woman do an experiment and see what happens when you comfortably come to a pause, look into her eyes and just notice her for a moment. The more comfortable you are with this the more comfortable she will be as well.
You’ll quickly find that what you’re doing is lifting weights on some muscles that you’ve never used before. It may feel emotionally awkward at first but then of course the best things you’ll ever learn will be.
Yes, you may notice some strong feelings arise inside of you. That’s fine and natural to experience as your building this particular form of emotional intelligence. And most of us were never taught how to be comfortable with ourselves in this way so if you start to feel a sense of overwhelm just know that there’s nothing wrong… and keep practicing.
You’ll likely have some good crash and burn stories but hey, no one ever learned to ride a bike without some scrapes and bruises. Was it worth it? (…yes.)
Otherwise, women will always be able to feel your discomfort under the surface in really being able to connect with them.
Once you’ve got this what you’re communicating to women is that you’re comfortable with yourself in a way that very few men are. And women are DYING for a man like this. Trust me, this quality is often far more attractive than looks, height, weight or age.
Now, it all goes much further than just what I’ve shared here. Pausing is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s just one facet of Presence. And women know that a present man is a sexy man. Period.
Your friend on the path,